Curriculum Updated

Tonight I updated my sidebar to show our 2009-2010 curriculum choices for both Thatcher and Haddon. Have I even mentioned that I am now doing school with two of my sweet boys?

Thatcher's school load is light compared to other years because what is not listed is that we are also doing Neurodevelopmental Therapy (NDT) two to three hours each day. We began this therapy six months ago but I have been hesitant to post about it for a few reasons. First, I know that anytime you put something in cyberspace you are opening yourself up for all sorts of feedback - good or bad. This is a type of therapy (like many in the realm of Autism) that is mostly shunned by the official medical world as being completely unscientific. Case in point, our developmental pediatrician told me, "There is absolutely no medical/scientific evidence to support this type of therapy but only anecdotal evidence." Well, stories of changed lives are a powerful thing and this therapy has given us hope for not only dealing with the day to day symptoms we deal with but actually fixing the root causes. On the flip side, the medical community we have access to has not offered any treatment options other than a handful of prescriptions.

I feel I need to digress here and say that we still may be going that medication route in the near future as Thatcher's ADHD continues to rage out of control and the emotional manifestations grow more severe as well. But before we go there we want to feel that we have exhausted all other possibilities of correcting the root issues and not just putting a band-aid on the symptoms. That is why we did the gluten-free/casein-free (GFCF) diet last year for eight months as well. If there is a dietary cause, a bio-medical explanation or anything else...we want to address that first before jumping to medications.

The second reason I have been hesitant to post about our experience with NDT is that I am not yet willing to endorse it. This therapy takes from one-and-a-half to two years to see lasting results and we are not even half-way there. This therapy is inexpensive when compared to some others but it is still a big chunk of change. It is one thing for a mom to come to my blog and see a phonics book we're using and order it for $5.95 only to find two months later it's the wrong fit for her child. It's another to post a therapy that costs a great deal more both in time and money.

Well there it is...the post that has taken me six months to write.

This Post Has Been a Long Time Coming

How's that for a title?!

I have not blogged about homeschooling per se in a very long time. I've posted Easter, birthday and strawberry pics, talked about our butterfly garden experience (We have two more caterpillars almost ready to pupate as I type this!), shared our homemade bread recipe, our detox and just about everything else other than the nuts and bolts of homeschooling. What's been missing this year are Weekly Reports, any talk about curriculum, thoughts on the 2009-2010 year (Thatcher's 3rd and Haddon's K4) , planning and the like.

Why? To be honest, I am not really sure. This year has felt like the equivalent of a ship at sea whose lost its rudder. Sure there are still sails to catch the wind when it picks up but there are days and even weeks when the wind is just barely blowing.

Those who have been reading for awhile have followed my journey this year. I know there are new readers so I will quickly recap. Last June we found out we were expecting Baby #4 and a pretty good case of morning sickness and exhaustion set in. September saw Hurricane Ike run right over the top of our house. At the end of October we lost the baby; surgery and a long recovery followed. Holidays, a new roof , a million calls to two insurance companies who both messed up our claims (home and health) and an official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome finished off 2008.

The new year started, and boy was I was ready for a new beginning. I started researching Charlotte Mason's theories in earnest. I read Volume One of Miss Mason's six volume series and Cathy Levison's books by the end of the month. We started changing our school little by little because I loved and agreed with what I was reading: short lessons; we dropped grammar and logic; starting incorporating nature hikes, quality literature and living books; and made an attempt at masterly inactivity. Then I started Volume Six and realized all I had gotten us into. ;) CM is so much deeper than just good books and nature hikes (What most tend to boil it down to in my experience.) I started feeling a little overwhelmed. Can I really implement this? It just seems really hard and classical feels so much more laid out. CMer's need their own version of The Well Trained Mind!

Through all this, we have been struggling with Thatcher's increasing symptoms and two younger brothers who do everything big brother does. We decided to medicate again (We tried stimulants for a year when he was 4 1/2 - 5 1/2) because we just had to gain some control over the chaos. Then I got a call and life took another detour.

I have attended workshops at our local homeschool conference done by a Neurodevelopmentalist for the last three years. She has really great ideas for how to maximize any kid's potential and friends of mine have been successfully using some of her strategies for a few years now with their "typical" kiddos. But what she shares at her workshops is just the tip of the iceberg. You can take your child to her and she puts a plan together to help reduce and/or eliminate symptoms of many neurological conditions including autism, ADHD, learning disabilities and even Down's Syndrome. The catch though...it's expensive...and time consuming. And did I mention expensive?

Well we have friends who knew we wanted to pursue this therapy and offered to pay for our first evaluation. We went not really knowing what all to expect. We have started on a course of therapy that takes us about 3 1/2 hours a day. And this is not a short term fix. If we decide to continue, we will go back to be re-evaluated every four months. Activities will be added/deleted depending on progress. Most kids continue this type of therapy for one to two years, sometimes longer.

What it all boils down to is that this year academics have been on the back burner. I have two shelves full of books we haven't hardly touched. We are at the end of May and the only thing we've finished is our Spanish program - and that's because it's video based! We have 50 lessons to go in math, over half of SOTW 2, almost all of this year's science because we started the year finishing what was left from last year, and on and on. I have these beautiful plans that pretty much got thrown out the window.

In my head I know that it truly is okay. It's a unique season. But somehow it doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated. The reality is that I never would have been able to pursue some of the things I did this year had we stayed on track academically (butterfly garden, baking bread and making jam...). Those things have been a joy.

Yet the steam is gone. I am at burnout and have been there for awhile now. There I said it. I need the wind to pick up and to start blowing - hard! I want to regain that passion and excitement for educating my kids. The hard thing is, if we continue this therapy then academics will need to stay in the background for a year or more. It will all be worth it if it helps Thatcher reach his potential but there are no guarantees. No answers, just sharing my journey. And if you read this far, thanks! :)

Focus on Social Skills

I realize most of my readers don't have a kiddo with autism but I thought I'd share my thoughts on this subject because many children can be delayed socially even with no official label of any sort. Kids can struggle in this area for lots of reasons - very strong/very timid personality, immaturity, ADHD, lack of training or lack of good role models, any number of disabilities, ineffective parenting (not accusing anyone here! ;) ) and the list goes on and on. If your child could use some support in the social arena then I hope you find some ideas and encouragement here. Now on with my post...

With our new diagnosis of Aperger's our reality has changed. We now know that many of the behaviors we have been dealing with are not something Thatcher will just outgrow as we had been hoping and praying. In fact he needs much more support than we have been giving him up to this point. Also we are seeing more and more copycat type behaviors from his two younger brothers who idolize him yet are too young to understand that big brother may not always be the best role-model. Further complicating our issues is the fact that Thatcher has ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder as well. All three work together and at times create complete havoc in the life of our blue-eyed little man.

What does that mean for us? That's the question that has been rattling around in my head for the last several weeks. I have thought about this from two levels - social skills we need to work on at home and those we need to work on during activities /outings not at home. Right now the only two things Thatcher is involved in outside of our home is church and AWANA, but then there are grocery store trips, restaurant outings (rare nowadays), errands we run and the like.

As for church, I have temporarily stepped down from serving in our children's ministry. For the next eight weeks I will be Thatcher's buddy in all services he attends. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have done this with him three years ago when he started in the elementary ministry. Now we are having to reteach and retrain and that's always harder then just doing it right the first time before bad habits have the chance to form. Still I am very hopeful that we will be able to do great things in the next two months.

At our church students start in a large group room playing and doing activity stations. Then comes about 25 minutes of singing and a lesson presentation. Next, the children go to their small group rooms to review what they learned and do an activity to reinforce the main idea of the day. We are working with Thatcher on things like sitting still during the lesson, not moving place to place to place. Not calling out answers (or just his thoughts!) during the lesson. Not having meltdowns when the large group teacher calls for volunteers and he doesn't get chosen. Getting into line calmly when it's time to transition to small group without knocking all his friends down to be first in line. Really listening when the teacher talks and not just waiting for a pause to be able to interject his own brand of wisdom! ;) Appropriate hugging - who and how and when. I am sure there are more but that comes to mind first.

How am I doing this you may wonder? The answer is simple. Bribery. Thatcher is in love with Transformers Animated toys. Two of his favorite things on the planet, vehicles and robots, combined into one toy; life doesn't get any better for Thatch. He is always saving for some new Transformer he wants so I told him that he would receive one dollar at the end of the hour if he got three or less warnings from me. He would not get warnings for inappropriate behavior (that will come later as we have more training sessions behind us) but rather for not receiving Mommy's correction with a gentle and teachable spirit. That has to be our first goal. Thatcher often gets so frustrated when I try to correct him that he just growls (literally). We are first working on rooting that out. We have talked about how we are on the same team, "Team (our last name)" and that we are all working for the good of each member of our family and our family as a whole. As time progresses and good habits are established I am hoping to slowly fade into the background and thatthe success that we will have started to continue. I have no illusions that our problems will be magically fixed forever but just changing the trajectory from down to up - not perfection - is a goal. I am hoping to return to serving in a few months where I will still be in the room able to keep my eye on Thatch and help when he needs me, much more so than I have ever done in the past. I won't allow it to get as bad as it is now; I'll step in for a refresher course!

For AWANA, we have decided that next year we will not continue (mostly for reasons given in this post) but Thatch wants to finish the year and complete his book. As many weeks as possible I will be staying with him and working on similar goals mentioned above. My dh preaches on Wednesdays at our church and AWANA is at a different church down the road. Therefore, I am only able to stay with Thatch on the weeks when dh is able to work it out with his schedule.

Then there's the other stuff: grocery store, post office, restaurants...oh my! This is where I can get really stressed. Beckett is still an extremely active two (almost three) year old and then there's Thatcher who has to touch every.single.thing every where we go. He can get distracted and wander off in ten seconds flat. This is where we see more of the ADHD come into play. Between he and Beckett outings are exhausting. I am working on taking lots of little grocery store trips so Thatcher has the chance to experience success with the three things I always ask of him: stay next to me, hands to yourself, talk softly (becasuse he is a very loud child normally but gets even louder when he's overstimulated and he's definitely overstimulated on outings).

I am also being much more deliberate about talking to him about what our errands will look like and the exact behaviors I am looking for on the way to our destination.

"Thatch we are going into the post office to mail two things and buy stamps. There will be that large display of boxes and envelopes for sale but we need to remember that it's okay to look but not touch. We will stand in line for around five minutes and during that time you can quietly talk to me or your brothers but you may not interrupt other adults' conversation or hug them if they are strangers. Then when it's my turn in line you may say hello to the postal worker but then you must wait patiently and quietly while Mommy does business. Then you will be able to say goodbye. Do not tell your brothers what to do or get frustrated if you think they are doing something they shouldn't be. I will be right there and I will take good care of everyone so you don't have to. If you are worried about them, just tell me. "

Seriously that is how much scripting he needs on just about every errand we go on.

Today the social skills books I ordered were delivered so once I get a chance to look through them, I'll post my thoughts. So far, I am very excited about what I see!

Welcome to Holland

I went for a run (often my thinking/processing time) last night after posting my last blog and this story a friend shared with me years ago came to mind. I have seen it many times since then but each time am touched by its profundity.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Emily Perl Kingsley 1987

Classical or Charlotte Mason?

Some of my main goals include raising my boys to be adults:

• who will embrace Truth as revealed in the person of Jesus and trust Him as Savior and Lord of their lives.
  

• who are relevant, engaging culture and their peers for the purpose of wining others to Christ.

• who have the ability to intelligently defend their faith, both in speaking and writing, but do so with great respect.
  

• who are well educated, entrenched in the classics, so they may pursue future endeavors they may feel God calling them to without hindrances from any educational lacking.
  

• who are emotionally healthy, prepared for meaningful and fulfilling relationships with spouse, family and friends.

• who are physically fit yet understand that "for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." - 1 Timothy 4:8

And this is not an exhaustive list. When I was teaching public school I always told my parents on "Meet the Teacher Night" that I wanted their children to excel not only in the "Three R's" but to grow as people during their nine months with me - to be be more emotionally and socially mature. The reality though is that with 20-24 children in my class and six to ten subjects to cover daily, there just wasn't enough time to devote to this noble endeavor. Truly I was stepping outside my job description anyway which was to solely educate their minds.

In contrast, one of the great benefits and blessing of homeschooling is that we are responsible for and able to educate the whole child: mind, body and spirit. When we started our journey to homeschool one of the first books I read was The Well Trained Mind. TWTM resonated so much with many of the things I had in mind for my children and provided the education I wish I had. We eagerly started on our journey using Susan Wise-Bauer's book as our road map.

Yet, I had begun feeling in recent months that while I was happy with much of the education I was providing for Thatcher there were holes - very big holes. We are so busy for so much of the day that while I am challenging his mind the focus on body and spirit is sorely lacking. I know this is not the case in many families pursuing a classical education, but it definitely is for us. The severity of Thatcher's ADHD means that lessons that take a typical child 20 minutes take us two or three times that much time. There is little time each day for anything other than academics.

I began to think about and research our options. I remembered several things I had always read about Charlotte Mason's educational theories, many of which are very intriguing for me. Short lessons, educating the whole child, nature studies and her focus on character development and habit training were things that stuck in my mind - and honestly just about all I knew about a CM education.

I have decided to seriously study up on Miss Mason's theories to decide if we need to change our trajectory in regards to educating my children. I love TWTM but is there a better way to meet our educational (mind) goals without sacrificing meeting the other goals I have for my children, especially now with our formal diagnosis of Asperger's?

I have started reading Volume One of Miss Mason's work in modern English from Ambleside Online. It's free! In the small amount I've already read, I have clearly seen that while TWTM is in line with my head CM aligns more with my heart. I will post my thoughts as I work my way through the series.

A New Path

A year ago, in December of 2007, we received a referral from our pediatrician to have Thatcher evaluated by a Developmental Pediatrician at Texas Children's Hospital here in Houston. We sent in the paperwork and waited...and waited...and waited. After eleven months the day of our appointment arrived this past Tuesday.

We have always known he had severe ADHD and lots of what his therapists called "Spectrum Disorder tendencies." Spectum Disorder is the umbrella under which a few things fall: Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), Asperger's and Autism are a few of the more common.

He has always had unnatural fixations on things starting with lights and then his hands when he was less than a year old. As he got older his fixations changed from keys to automatic doors and then to cars. As a two year old he could tell you the name of every single car on the road. "Mom, that's a Ford F150. Oh, there's a Lincoln Navigator and a GMC Yukon XL." Lot of kids have interests but it is the level to which they dominate a child's life that make them stand out for some kids. Thatch talked about cars from the moment he woke up until the time he fell asleep at night.

Thatcher also received speech therapy from the age of eighteen months to three because he only used language to label things, never to get his needs met or communicate wants. He never once said, "I'm hungry (or thirsty or hot or angry or sad...). In speech therapy terms it is called pragmatic use of language - using language for different purposes. He would simply tell you what something was whether it be a giraffe, chair, car, house or whatever. His vocabulary was full of nouns but no verbs!

His non-verbal skills were almost non-existent when he was younger. We could not get him to use sign language no matter how much we tried. He also never pointed nor would he take you to show you what he wanted. It was like he wasn't even aware he had needs/wants. He would just go along with whatever toys/food I set in front of him. This was true up until the age of four! Very different from his brothers who expressed desires from twelve months on.

He was also very delayed in other areas, always meeting all developmental milestones but months to years later than his peers. He had low muscle tone, refused to self-feed until the age of 18 months (even with a dietician working with him weekly) and would refuse all foods unless they were brown and crunchy. I could go on and on but I am sure I've bored you stiff by now.

All these were pieces to a puzzle but we just didn't have the big picture to put them all together yet. Our hope was that this appointment might do this for us. We would have a yes or a no in regard to whether or not his "quirks" (and we all have them!) were enough to label him with something on the autism spectrum. I went into the appointment really hoping the doctor would say something along the line of, "Yep, lots of spectrum disorder stuff but not enough to warrant a label. He'll outgrow most of this with time." That's not what we got.

Instead we heard, "Your son has Asperger's Syndrome." I even pushed back a little saying that this diagnosis can be somewhat subjective and my concerns about this being over-diagnosed as it is the "hot" label right now. She replied that we could take Thatcher to ten doctors and she was confident that all ten would have the same diagnosis. After all I've learned in the past five days, I now agree. Honestly, I have known for some time in my heart the reality that this diagnosis was coming, but it's still incredibly hard to hear.

So where do we go from here? If you asked me on Tuesday I would have said that I was filled with a strange mixture of relief (that I am not a horrible mother who couldn't control or fix her son) and great sadness, too. It was weird, to say the least, to have such contrasting emotions exist simultaneously. Today I would have to say that the dominant emotion is thankfulness. I am thankful that now at least we know what path we are on so that we may learn how to best help/support/teach our precious son. I wish I had been doing more all along to educate myself these past few years when we had suspicions but am ready for what lay ahead. Ask me tomorrow and you may get a different answer though. This is quite an emotional roller coaster for sure.

Here's to a new journey, a new path and helping our son be all that God created him to be.

Kids Who are Different

Kids Who Are Different

Here's to the kids who are different,

The kids who don't always get A's,

The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers,

And noses that go on for days...

Here's to the kids who are different,

The kids they call crazy or dumb,

The kids who don't fit, with the guts and the grit,

Who dance to a different drum...

Here's to the kids who are different,

The kids with the mischievous streak,

For when they have grown, as history's shown,

It's their difference that makes them unique.

--Digby Wolfe

A Book Review: Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World

Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World by Jeffrey Freed and Laurie Parsons is the best book I have ever read on the subject of ADD/ADHD. It provides not only help but hope! So many of the things Thatcher does that most people, including myself, have always found quirky to downright irritating are actually common in the world of right brained learners (which Thatcher tested very strongly in the checklist given by the author). In describing ADHD children it was as if Mr. Freed had been a fly on the wall in our living room for years.

The child with genuine ADD typically has just two speeds: full tilt and collapse. He consistently has a short attention span, which means he fails to hold a thought for more than a few seconds. He rarely finishes a task, bouncing like a pinball from one activity to another. He doesn't have a built-in "brake" in his brain that tells him to look before he leaps. His lightning-fast visual mind flashes from random thought to random thought; his thought patterns are like a brain storming session run amok. He is nonlogical, nonsequential and nonverbal (although he talks constantly), physically and socially clumsy, and hopelessly disorganized. He may or may not respond well to medication. Rather than being labeled as ADD, this child might be more accurately termed a "hyperimpulsive random visual processor." Whatever you choose to call it, it's a tremendous challenge to parent and teach this kind of child.

p. 25-26

Amen, Mr. Freed! As a mom I have always known "what" Thatcher did but not always the "why" behind the "what". After reading this book I feel I truly know my child so much better - what makes him tick and how to get inside his head (and subsequently his heart!). I also learned that I am a strong left-brained learner which has been a cause of much of my frustration. He learns so much differently than myself and the things the author explains I don't know that I ever would have figured out on my own.

The author describes how he believes many children are moving towards being visual learners due to our culture and society. Unfortunately schools have not kept up, teaching largely the way they did for the past 100 years - primarily to auditory learners. These methods made sense in a world pre-television, pre-computer and pre-picture books where the predominate means of communication was auditory: radio, literature readings and oral story telling. Today children's brains are different and require new teaching methods. He believes that many children (if not most) who are labeled ADD/ADHD are actually visual learners who are simply having a difficult time coping in a classroom not geared towards their learning style. He believes that only 2-3% of the population are true ADD kiddos and the remainder are pseudo-ADD. They way to tell the difference is to examine, "the degree of severity" and "whether the behavior is pronounced both inside and outside the classroom."

Whether or not your child is true ADD or what he terms "pseudo-ADD" you can greatly benefit from this book. After making his case that ADD is a "learning style" he lays how to work with children who demonstrate these characteristics in a chapter titled "Ground Rules for Working with the ADD Child" and then follows up by walking though each subject one by one describing specific techniques to help these children attain success.

If you have a child you suspect of being ADD/ADHD (the author uses these terms interchangeably) this would be a great book to add to your reading list. Beware that he is a little harsh on the public school system and public school teachers. He makes a lot of generalizations and remember that there are always exceptions (although in my experience teaching ps for seven years many of his statement are true). Also, this book is not just for homeschooling parents, although he does hold a favorable view of homeschooling. He devotes a few chapters at the end of the book to helping parents help their child(ren) have a more positive experience in the public/private school system.

Encouragement for Parents of ADHD'ers

I am currently reading Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World: Unlocking the Potential of Your ADD Child. It is fantastic, by far the best book I've read on the subject as of yet. I wanted to share a quote the authors included that is actually from still another book.

What I like most about this quote is that it reminds me that I define my child, not the culture, not well-meaning friends/family members/teachers/coaches/scout leaders/et al, not anyone else's ideas of how they think a child should act. That awesome and wonderful power is mine and mine alone...well mine and dh's! And I am committed to doing a better job of not letting those titles in the first group of words stick but those in the second and so many more. We hear those first adjectives so often that they tend to seep into our souls, maybe much more than we realize - at least speaking for me, more than I realize. But if I choose to define his behavior as energetic rather than hyperactive and sensitive rather than irritable, well just that mental shift can make a huge difference in how I relate to my child and come to think of it how others will relate to him too.

I hope this quote is an encouragement to you as well. If you don't have an ADHD kiddo, feel free to pass this link along to someone who does and maybe it will lift up a friend who has had a tough day with her unique child!

Instead of thinking of your child as...Think of him as...

hyperactive...energetic
impulsive...spontaneous
distractible...creative
a daydreamer...imaginative
inattentive...global thinker with a wide focus
unpredictable...flexible
argumentative...independent
stubborn...committed
irritable...sensitive
aggressive...assertive
attention deficit disordered...unique

-Dr. Thomas Armstrong, The Myth of the ADD Child

A New Beginning

In the last few months we have been dealing with increasingly challenging behavior from Thatcher. He has been in (what I call) a downward spiral. His ADHD is absolutely at it's worst. He has more and more emotional outbursts when he doesn't get what he wants. His behavior towards his brothers has been unacceptable more than I'd like to admit. He even wakes up grumpy and frustrated. It feels like I've been watching a bad train wreck but helpless to do anything productive to assist (although believe me, we have tried!!!). The situation hasn't been dire but it has been tough for sure.

That is until yesterday. I am not sure what made the change (other than fervent prayer) but I am sooo very thankful it did. Thatcher woke up with a smile on his face and full of hugs for his brothers and me. He responded appropriately when lovingly corrected. He had excellent manners, was patient, helpful and kind! It was like someone handed me back my son from a few years ago! Today went almost as well, too.

I am going to work so hard to keep us in this upward spiral - tons of praise and encouragement, extra privileges and rewards. We have been talking about how good it feels to honor God by loving others, sharing with others and bringing joy to others. He seems to be getting it, at least a little bit! These are not new things but I am just being extra-deliberate to incorporate them into our days. Sometimes he needs me to "connect the dots" for him when he can't do it on his own and that's what I am trying to do: making those connections that when we make wise choices it brings peace and joy to our lives.

Just wanted to share a little behind the scenes around here these past few days!

We're Officially Dairy-Free

In an attempt to help Thatcher with his ADHD we are trying several things - the most major being eliminating dairy and later gluten (protein found in wheat, rye and barley). We have also started OmegaBrite, an Omega 3 supplement found to help many children with impulsivity and focus. If you are new to my blog you can read about our journey in an older post.

It's easy to cut out the obvious dairy: milk, yogurt, butter, cheese, cream cheese, sour cream... The tricky part is finding all the hidden dairy in foods. Most hot dogs and some lunch meats have dairy proteins; canned tuna and turkey chili have it too. The whole wheat bread I've bought for years has milk in it as do many bagels, english muffins, hot dog and hamburger buns. Even products labeled dairy-free (rice cheese for example) can have casein, a milk protein. The list is almost endless of where dairy can be hidden in foods. Here is a list at the Go Dairy Free site if your interest is piqued.

For now we are sticking to simple meals and virtually no processed foods. We have found that rice milk and almond milk substitute well in most recipes where milk is used for moisture and is not a major player. We even made almond milk ice cream and it was yummy! :) Knowing that we are moving towards a complete gluten-free/casein-free diet, I've been testing out new foods in that vein as well. Thankfully I've discovered Bob's Red Mill product line of gf/cf mixes. Their chocolate chip cookies are wonderful; my boys gobbled them up without noticing anything different. We have also tried their Gluten Free Pancake Mix and Gluten Free Homemade Wonderful Bread Mix (using leftovers to make french toast tomorrow morning!). Next week I am going to try their Gluten Free Brownie Mix, too. At some point I am going to need to learn to cook gf/cf from scratch but for now these mixes are a great way ease me into learning to cook a whole new way.

I thought I would share a little about this journey since we're hoping to see major improvement in focus/impulse control which will make his (and our) life easier not to mention school so much easier! I promise to post more about actual school plans soon.

Weekly Report - Weeks 14-15

Here is my weekly report for the past 2 weeks of school - one before Thanksgiving and one after. We are finally in a good rhythm - and it only took four months to get there! Lol.

Math is plugging along; nothing new to report there. One lesson continues to take an hour but I am getting used to it and it does not bother Thatcher. He chooses to start with Math every single day! I have not been drilling his math facts nor practicing his skip counting since we are already spending so much time just completing the lesson. He can count to 100 by 1's, 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, 9's and 10's. And he's almost half-way there with the 6's. If I would just count out loud to him every single day once or twice he would get it within a week or so. It seems like such a small thing but all those small things can sure add up!

Language is not happening. I am not sure why since it only takes a few minutes a day but we haven't done it in 3 weeks. It just isn't as fun as history, science or Spanish which are the other subjects we do in the afternoon and it just seems to get put to the side. I am going to try to pick up where we left off this week.

Reading is going very well and tonight I actually found Thatcher reading a Magic Tree House book all by himself. He is capable of reading above that level but because of his ADHD he struggles to focus when he sees that many words on a page. Because of that, for his independent reading I have kept him in longer picture books to minimize his frustrations, and we read all chapter books together.

If your child is in the same boat - somewhere between easy readers/picture books and chapter books - and you need some new ideas for reading here are some of our favorite series so far:

• Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel
  
• Henry and Mudge by Cynthia Rylant
  
• Poppleton by Cynthia Rylant
  
• Nate the Great by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat
• Commander Toad by Jane Yolen
• Mr. Putter and Tabby by Cynthia Rylant

If you have any others, please leave a comment. We're always happy for new ideas :)

For our read together time we are enjoying the Tales from the Odyssey series by Mary Pope Osborne. Thatcher loves these books more than any other we have ever read together. I would highly recommend them, especially if you have boys (Cyclops getting gored in the eye with a burning log may upset a few girly-girls!). The story has captivated his imagination and each day he can't wait to hear what adventures Odysseus will find.

Spanish is going great as well. Thatcher loves watching Sra. Cano on United Streaming and he is retaining a lot more than I thought he would. Most importantly he is excited about Spanish and is learning to love the culture which are some of my biggest goals for this year!

History and Science are great! Some days I wish we could spend much more time on these than anywhere else. Thatcher loves these subjects and to be honest, I am learning so much!

The week before Thanksgiving we went on a field trip to a wonderful place called Dewberry Farm. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from that day.

How do you like the shirts dh had made for all of us at the start of the year?! We wear them anytime we go on an outing. It makes it a lot easier to keep up with everyone and the boys are so proud to have their own school shirts!

Finally...a Plan! (Part Two)

A few additional thoughts I forgot to include in my first post:

One more thing I am excited about is finding the Accountable Kids program. I first read about it at Lisa's blog and after talking with her and pouring over their site, I feel like it will be a great fit for us. Now I am saving up to purchase it. I think it will really help Thatcher see what he is responsible for and work towards doing those things consistently with less guidance from mommy. He really desires to take more responsibility for his "stuff" but doesn't know how to go about it. I have tried all sorts of charts and other incentives with limited success but I really feel that AK will be different! Here is a photo of the AK board just in case your interest is piqued:


Lastly, as I began thinking and praying about how we needed to help Thatcher more, I quickly realized that part of the problem was me. I am a person who needs lots of sleep - eight hours will do but nine is optimal. When I do not discipline myself in this area I am too often not as patient as I need and want to be with my boys. Since this past summer when I basically became a night owl, I rarely get the sleep I need; I always feel I have too much to do to stop and rest. Sleep doesn't feel like "doing" anything because I don't have a box to check for a task completed (yes, I am one of those box-checker types. Lol!). I guess I need to make a new to-do list with "Get 8 hours of sleep" at the very top!

Well that about sums it up: fish oil supplements, dairy-free, gluten-free, Accountable Kids, and more sleep for mom. I will let you know how it goes and thanks so much to all those who offered advice and encouragement. It is truly appreciated!

Week 13 Report

This week was full...full of good and not so good. I'll share the good first. That's so much more fun!

Math (Horizons 2) is going well and next semester we are going to try to start supplementing with this program. I looked at tons of great programs but this one won out for now - mainly because it's free and has lots of what I am looking for: activities to encourage thinking "outside the box".

Language - We didn't touch FLL lessons this week. We'll play catchup next week.

Reading - We are struggling a little here. Thatcher has regressed in his oral reading skills again. He mumbles, skips words, inserts new words and is generally showing some laziness. We are stopping Magic Tree House books for the time being hoping that some fresh books will inject some life into this aspect of school.

History is still going very well. I had pretty much stopped doing narrations (just hard to fit it all in) but after reading several threads relating to the value of narrations on the Well Trained Mind Boards I was encouraged to start back up again. Here is his narration from Chapter 13 of SOTW1. I copied down his narration but had him write the title. I loved his artwork, too! It shows Hatshepsut on her throne wearing a crown and surrounded by gold!

Science - We are playing catch up in this area but we are loving the life science plans Jessica created and shared at her blog, Trivium Academy! Here are two of his animal profile pages from this week: worms and ants. He is really enjoying learning to draw the animals. Coloring and drawing have been a long time coming for us and are just starting to emerge but oh how fun!




Spanish - We just completed Unit 1 of the Elementary Spanish program on United Streaming. Thatcher scored 100% on his test! We have acquired a Spanish pen pal for Thatcher, too! I'll post more about that later. :)


Just for fun here are pictures of Thatcher (wearing his red-eyed tree frog glasses!) and Haddon (wearing his new birthday outfit from his paternal grandparents) from this week.
Now for the not so good. We have had a tough few weeks with Thatch; I am at a loss for how to help him many days. He is stuck in a negative spiral, and I don't know how to break the cycle. His ADHD/SPD/Spectrum Disorder stuff is really rearing it's head: emotional outbursts when life doesn't happen just the way he thinks it should, disrespect, impatience with his brothers (more than just normal "sibling stuff") and more. Raising kids is *tough*. Period. No matter what. Raising a kiddo with special needs is sometimes downright...I can't even think of a word to describe it: exhausting, sad, make you want to crawl under the sheets and hide some days...

We are starting fish oil supplements on Monday as some have had great success in treating ADHD this natural way. Oh, if it could truly be that easy for us! We are also getting more strict on his diet as I've grown a little lax since school has started: absolutely no sugar, refined flour or white rice, no dyes, additives or preservatives and limited dairy and wheat. I am also researching a parenting/behavior program that may work for us as well. I will post more as I learn about this as well.

Next week is a new week and I am looking forward to a fresh start!

Our First Day

We made it; some days that's about all you can say. My 14 month old cried almost non-stop from 7:20 until 11:45 when he finally passed out from exhaustion. No fever, no other symptoms, Tylenol and Advil did not help, nor did crushed ice, a baby video, a walk outside, reading books or anything else. And the banshee-type wailing continued...for four hours! I hope that's not a harbinger of things to come. To his credit, Beckett has been my happiest baby by far. He is sweet and giggly most of the time, but unfortunately not today. I even took a picture to prove I am not making this up. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better for him and consequently for the rest of us, too!


As for actual school, it went well. In hindsight I probably set my expectations a little too high. Thatcher is still my wiggly little boy; he still would, more often than not, rather have me do it for him than really work at it; he still gets distracted by every tiny little thing. And that's okay...and that's okay...and that's okay. I have to keep reminding myself of this.

The green eggs and ham breakfast was a hit. Haddon, who rarely eats eggs, gobbled his right up. Green is his favorite color. Thatcher, who would eat eggs everyday if I let him, was a little freaked out by the eggs but thought the green ham was the coolest thing ever!


Both boys loved their Schultuetes. I remember how inspiring all those brand-new crayons and unsharpened pencils used to be when I was young, and it was fun to see that same excitement in my own children. The Crayola window markers were an especially huge hit. They kept my very active two year old occupied for almost 30 minutes while we did school and his big brother occupied for almost an hour when school was done.


I am more excited than ever to get this school year rolling and at the same time more anxious than ever. How in the world am I going to do all this with a one year old, a two year old and an ADHD six year old?

Thoughts on Technology

I think I have read the first 228 pages of The Well-Trained Mind (the section focusing on the Grammar years) 15 times now, and lately Chapter 10 "Electronic Teachers: Using Computers and Videos" keeps drawing me back.

The premise of the chapter is that the grammar years are a crucial time of brain development, especially in verbal areas; the connections and pathways made in these early years will be used for the remainder of a child's life. Reading and writing depend on the left-hemisphere while TV and similar technology depend more on the right-hemisphere. We want to engage our children in activities that will develop the ability to think great thoughts as they grow older and since TV, videos and software promote passive learning, these forms of entertainment should be greatly limited in the younger years.

Reading is mentally active.
Watching a video is mentally passive.
Writing is labor-intensive.
Clicking icons is effortless.

All children prefer ease to effort. It seems reasonable to us to limit their
exposure to the easier way until the harder way has been mastered.
- The Well-Trained Mind, p 200 - 201

If you are new to my blog, my oldest son Thatcher is ADHD...very ADHD. His love affair with tv began as a toddler watching Baby Einstein videos and continued until recently when we cut all tv out of his day for one month. While watching TV he is calm and completely enraptured, but the moment the TV (or computer, Leapster, etc.) is turned off we just about have to peel him off the ceiling. The sustained visual stimulation is just too much for his brain to synthesize. We have added the tiniest bit of TV/technology back into his day but it is severely limited.

Honestly, we would have done this even without the issues of ADHD. My boys were just too addicted to TV ; they would sit on the couch all day if allowed. Now they are out playing on the swingset, building towers and roads with their blocks, arranging battles with their action figures and interacting with each other (although too often not in the kind, helpful way I desire - but that's another post!). It was so hard those first few weeks but I would do it again for the benefits gained.

Well, to the true point of my post: what does all this mean for our family and schooling future? I think for me it is simply that we will only use TV /video/computers when absolutely necessary -when they provide something we can't get any other way.

• We have a subscription to United Streaming for next year and will use the elementary Spanish video series. I have a minor in Spanish so I could definitely teach it myself. However, I also have a one and a two year old to care for during the day while schooling Thatcher. He works veeerrryyyy slowly so I needed to give up teaching something in order for my little ones to have any "Mommy-time". In this case, technology will allow me much needed time with Haddon and Beckett.

• We will also be using the science and history videos on United Streaming. I agree with Susan Wise-Bauer when she says that some things like "lava flowing down the side of a mountain have to be seen to be believed." These videos will take Thatcher places he could never travel himself (ancient Rome, inside the human body, to the depths of the oceans, floating up the Nile River, et al) or at least not this year!
  

• Lastly we will use some of the Art Tango videos, also on United Streaming. The use of technology here will definitely fit my criteria because I cannot draw stick figures (truly) so these videos will provide something I cannot - a qualified art teacher! We will also be using Drawing with Children by Mona Brookes, and I will learning right along side him.
  

I desire to be extremely intentional about not letting technology be a major part of our school or our lives in general (except for watching the Houston Astros) but in some cases it is well worth it!

Overcoming My Teaching Degree - Part 2

Back to that line so many seem to rattle off regarding our decision to homeschool, "You have a teaching degree so it must be easy for you." Well I have been thinking a lot about this and have come to the conclusion that while for some that may be true, my education degree and teaching experience has often been as much of a hindrance as a help in my circumstance.

Let me tell you a little about my oldest son, Thatcher. This is the abbreviated version, but you can read the entire story in my other blog if your interest is piqued. Thatcher has ADHD, sensory processing issues and some autistic tendencies as well. When he was little we tossed around the idea that we would keep him home if we needed to, but I don't think either of us truly thought that would come to pass. But through a series of events we became convinced that homeschooling would be the best path for the kiddo God gave us.

Let me say, I am not anti-public school; I don't think most homeschoolers are. Yet, the reality is that public school is best suited for a certain type of child: one who can sit still being pretty important for sure. To ask my little guy to sit at a desk for several hours a day, walk in a straight line, sit cross-legged and wait his turn to share his idea on the latest book he's reading...well that would be like asking me to conjugate a page of French verbs. It isn't going to happen!

That's where I am struggling. I have been so trained in one methodology that it's been really tough wrapping my mind around a different way of doing things. I don't want to simply bring what I did in a classroom setting home and replicate it. Homeschooling can (and should in my opinion) be so much more than that. I have been reading and researching off-and-on for two years now. I have decided that Classical Education is the best fit for us out of all the pedagogies out there. Yet as I am preparing to plan out our first grade year I keep going back to my public school days without even realizing it.

I expect him to sit still while I am teaching him but what's wrong with letting him jump on the trampoline while he is learning to count by 9's or recite his poetry for the week? I want to be done with school by 3:00 each day but why can't we be done at 11:00 am some days and 7:00 pm others? I want him to be generating creative journal entries even though I have read Charlotte Mason's writings and The Well Trained Mind which encourage copywork, dictation and narration instead. I tend to forget that we don't just have to read in a text-book about the life-cycle of a butterfly but we can observe metamorphosis close up. Most importantly I forget that one of the beautiful things about homeschooling is that my kid gets to be exactly who God made him to be. He doesn't have to be on anyone's timetable for when he "should" be doing things. I definitely don't want to forget that.

Why did I choose blog about this? I have many homeschool friends say they covet my teaching degree and I have learned to respond, "Well, I've been working on overcoming that to be a good teacher for Thatcher." Be encouraged! You better have the ability to see things with fresh eyes. You think "outside the box" so much more readily. You are not bound by years of indoctrination thinking it has to be done a certain way. You are the ones that come up with innovative curriculum, and you are the ones who answer questions others never even think to ask. I envy you...and I'll be haunting your blogs to borrow all your wonderfully creative ideas.